We have entered that awkward time of year. It's technically still the holiday season so it's acceptable to day drink on a Monday but like me, you might have your sights set on what you see for yourself in the new year.
But here's the thing, resolutions are often setup for failure. I don't mean to be a buzz kill on your high hopes for 2021, but hear me out. Traditional resolutions often stem from a place of serious negativity- to 'fix' something that's 'broken', to be a better version of you because the current version isn't good enough. Garbage.
Take the common resolution of losing weight, for example. I've said it since the time I was 18... THIS IS MY YEAR TO GET IN THE BEST SHAPE OF MY LIFE! Turns out, I wish I was as 'fat' now as I thought I was 15 years ago. Insecurities, man. Shedding a few pounds or focusing on fitness/wellness isn't inherently bad but what is the intention behind the resolution? What is going to hold you accountable to stay the course for actual growth and transformation? And if/when you don't, how will you feel? Even worse because you... 'failed'? More garbage... and not in the badass-ery of the 90's alt rock band kind of way.
So, I'm going to ask you to shift your mentality a bit from my point of view. Disclaimer, this is still such a work in progress for me, and I'm certainly no expert in revolutionary life hacks to manifest that private jet you've been vision board-ing, but I do believe in what I am sharing.
I fully honor this transitional time of the year to reflect. What areas of my life am I most proud of? What has gone well and what has been a struggle? Where do I see myself for the coming year and beyond? I am a big fan of self-reflection because that's how we evolve and grow. But I am also a big fan of being pragmatic.
Let's start with with resolutions verse intentions. "I want to lose weight." is such a typical resolution that's force-fed down our throats by gym ads and diet gimmicks that flood our feeds, but it's a bit vague and meaningless. What if instead I say to my inner badass, "I intend to focus on filling my diet with wholesome, nutritious foods and move my body regularly so that I set a positive example for my children and control my anxiety."... just me? It's clear yet it doesn't set myself up to be disappointed when the scale hasn't budged because maybe I'm building up some muscle mass. It allows for margins of error when life happens and I get a little, or a lot, off track- which happens. Catching my drift?
After many years of resolving I'd banish all of the processed foods ever created and step up my workout game to Ninja Warrior status starting firmly on January 2nd (let's be frank, Jan 1 has never been in my cards), I finally came to terms with the fact that I simply enjoy being carb-loaded by 7:30am and some days I just don't have it in me to physically push myself beyond the confines of my Instagram account. And that's ok.
I also know that focusing on what I CAN'T HAVE or SHOULDN'T DO carries such a negative vibe and results in me being just that much more tempted to do all of the aforementioned 'bad' things. If I say, "I'm not eating sugar anymore", the only thing this little monkey mind is thinking about is that creamy hazelnut latte that's suddenly off limits. Instead I try, "I will choose one of my favorite sugary treats to indulge with on Sundays." By focusing my energy and mindset on what I CAN do helps me see my intentions through... most of the time.
I learned to start small for lasting impact. I now add arugula, tomatoes and red onion (don't forget the capers!), to my sourdough in the morning. I get some fresh veggies to start my day and my inner bread-lover feels heard. It also has become a part of my daily routine. If I don't feel up to a killer sweat session after a long day, (or week), with my kids, I do a few Sun Salutations or run around the yard with my kids and dog to honor my intention but have my current mental and physical needs met.
And back to routine, every day anchors are really helpful when working towards a version of me that feels optimal. A few years back I started making my bed everyday. Every. Damn. Day. It took a while for it to stick but now I cannot begin my day without it. Now, is making my bed everyday getting me a Nobel Peace Prize? Hell no. But it helps me show up, especially on days that I don't want to be seen. So, I think about adding small, achievable habits to my daily routine.
As I said, I'm no expert but these are all mental shifts I have been focusing on as I get older and little softer around the mid-section. While I mostly applied my shift to physical wellness please use that as just an example. You can apply them to all areas of your life. Mental health, spiritual health, financial health, family health. Lions and tiger and bears, oh my.
These are tools that help me find balance, find the middle ground and be a little kinder to myself than I was when Abercrombie + Fitch was my jam. So for 2021, take some time to reflect, take some time to make meaningful and clear intentions but mostly, be kind to yourself.
Cheers to a new year.
With love and happy intentions,
Rebecca
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