TW: Abortion & Rape
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This beautiful family was made possible because of an abortion. This isn't something that is easy to put into the universe (or even into words), but I feel very compelled to share my story, because it matters. Because I matter.
I got pregnant with my then fiancé when I was 21 years old. This was the man I thought I was spending the rest of my life with, (even though I shouldn't have ignored the glaring red flags from this raging douche canoe.) But, I was young, surviving a rape and another incredibly abusive relationship (but that's a story for another day), and I felt very unworthy of love. Being sexualized as an adolescent by grown men (thanks cheerleading!), can do a number on your psyche.
Once I found out I was pregnant my ex gave me an ultimatum: convert to Judaism or have an abortion. If neither of those suited me, he threaten that he would take my child and fight me for custody. He was wealthy and made it known that he would make my life hell.
I went to my (Christian) therapist and she said this, "You have to do what's right for the life that is viable, and that's you." So I made the hardest choice I've even made and had an abortion just after 6 weeks. I felt (and feel) a lot of things but I can tell you one that I have let go of is regret.
Because of that abortion, I got a second chance at life. It gave me the chance to meet the most incredible, loving partner and together, we get the chance to raise 3 amazing humans to be kind. It gave me the chance to heal myself so that I try to make the world a better place.
My pain is still very real, but I have done enough healing to lighten the burden of my emotions but today, they are heavy. The ban on abortions in Texas is triggering. I feel it in my depths.
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